The loop

When you go from working 10 hours a day for 5-6 days a week to free! That feeling starts with disbelief, then boredom, frustration and then finally happiness. But to go from happy to bored and lazy doesn’t take too long either!

But that’s where travel comes to the rescue. At least it did for me.

After quitting a 3-year job. And plunging head on into complete boredom and cluelessness. Travel saved my life!

The first trip just happened to happen and the rest, I made sure happened.

I was travelling for 5 out of the 6 months sabbatical I had asked for.

But then! After the 6th month I took a decision (I’m still debating if it was the right one). I quit my job.

I made my sabbatical permanent.

I was still stuck in the trance of travel and thought it was the best idea ever.

Who wants to go sit in an office everyday? Who wants to apply for leaves? Who wants to take advance permissions to travel?

A job just didn’t suit my new lifestyle.

But my new lifestyle wasn’t really suiting my bank balance.

With parents that were waiting for me to run out of funds to stop travelling, I had to find a way to make money!

So of course, I chose to try and make money from travel. I started my own company called sabbatical(that encourages people to take their own sabbatical) and also freelanced as a writer/ designer! What I didn’t realize is that, that takes more time and work than a full time job. (If I want it to make any money)

So I reduced my travelling, I settled for weekends at my family farmhouse instead.

And then shockingly, I got hooked to that life. Getting back to town on Monday, waiting for Thursday, and taking off again on Friday! I was stuck in a loop!

Sure I still took a trip here and there. But I no longer had a new destination and experience to talk about every week. And I didn’t mind it.

I spent more and more time at home, planning future trips (more like dreaming about future trips that I may never take) I wasn’t spending too much money, I was working a little bit, reconnecting with friends, trying to find the one!

I was settling down.

Or was I just settling?

I wonder if everyone feels this?

A kind of inertia.

When I’m travelling I want to keep travelling,

But now that I have been at home for more than a couple of months trying to get my life in order. I feel like there is a charm in being in the same city, staying home, staying in your comfort zone.

Now I’m about to leave again for 2 months of travel in just a few days.

And I don’t know how I feel about that.

Of course, I’m telling myself and anybody that asks, “I CANNOT WAIT! I’VE BEEN IN THE SAME CITY TOO LONG!”

But honestly, I don’t know how I feel about it. It seems a bit like a task, the planning, the being in an unknown place. I was happy to be home! I was used to it! It was easy!

And that’s when it hit me.

As human beings we are so quick to settle right back into routine!

The routine could be work-home-work or travel –travel –travel.

It’s all still a set path!

A comfort zone of repetition! Of doing small new things of the same old thing and believing, truly believing that we are living.

Are we living? Or are we stuck in a loop of unconscious repetition? Of being ourselves – which basically could be code for behaving in a certain way or doing certain kind of things again and again because we are used to doing them.

The only way out I can think of is tirelessly fighting our social tuning every single day, going the opposite direction of the one we want to. Saying yes when we really want to say no.

Or will we get used to that too?